The Beauty of the Art of Serventhood

     Many things in this world are capable of breaking a heart. Destroying ones inner being by causing a pure shock of reality to impact the deepest areas of the soul. A collapsing of all the pride that had been built up in ones mind through days and weeks and still years of assuming that because they are comfortable they are pure. There are things in life that shake these ideas, these pure figments of a tiresome imagination that only lead to a desolate and unsatisfying destination, most often one that was never meant to be reached. A kind of blessing, you could call them. None however, like I have ever seen have torn my heart in complete half like what I have recently experienced.

     Nicky is fourteen years old. He has teenage hormones and feelings. Doctors would say that his brain is about as developed as that of a six or seven year old child.  He's a little over four feet tall and weighs proportionally about the same as an elephant. Born with Down's Syndrome, he's never been the most popular kid in school. He's smart. In a few weeks he will be attending Tomball High School as a freshman. His heart is one of the most beautiful and sentimental things I have ever had the privilege of knowing. His behavior- is absolutely exhausting. 

     Camp Blessing Texas is a summer camp run for both children and adults with some form of physical or mental special need. CBTX counselors take a week of their life to care for and mentor these campers on a one-to-one basis. This year I was blessed to be able to attend camp for the first time as a counselor. My story was unlike most others.

     The original camper assigned to me was named Ricky. At 22 years old, he was non-verbal, very independent, a two-year attendee of camp, generally very easy to get along with. I was excited, with it being my first year at camp I figured Ricky would be the perfect "first camper". 

     Tuesday after most campers had arrived, I remained. Waiting. No Ricky. I assumed he was simply running late and while I stood around, busying myself with camp games and songs with the staff and meeting other campers, I am pulled aside by my cabin leader who goes on to tell me that Ricky is here, and he is very sick. I eventually met Ricky, who was very quickly pulled back in the car by his care taker. Next thing I know he was gone, and I was still without a camper.

     The rest of the day was difficult to say the least. Watching everyone else run around with their child, playing games, seeing all of the hugs and knowing what a blessing those around me we're both giving and receiving. I wanted that. 

     Later that night we are told that a camper named Nicky, who had just been to camp the previous week, has been invited back and would arrive the following morning. Immediately those who knew the name started smiling a thoughtful, somewhat scared smile. "That's a plot change..." was all that was said. The rest of the night I would hear a number of stories about Nicky's shenanigans of previous years. The same smile worn by those earlier began to show itself on my own face.

     Mid-morning the next day our cabin is swimming at the camp pool when we receive word that Nicky has arrived. Everyone in the pool slowly stops as those around ask who will be his counselor for the week. I raise my hand and a staff member suggests that all lay hands on me and pray. Everyone at the pool, including the campers, proceed to do so.

     

     The smile of old turns to more of a battle-ready game face.

     Five minutes later Nicky shows up at the pool. He waves hello to all, pulls his shirt off, strips down to nothing but Tighty-Whities that are frankly much too undersized, and cannonballs smack dab in the middle of everyone. A series of laughter followed by "And there's your camper." are all that is said.

     The very first thing he does is find me, and give me the sweetest hug I've ever experienced, kisses my cheek, and smiles. He was the absolute sweetest, easiest, most loving and adorable camper there. For almost a full ten minutes.

     Nicky's behavior was torture to all around him. Constant cursing, loud and obnoxious noises for no reason at all, running off, trying to kiss every girl he saw, only participating in camp activities in the opposite ways he is asked, a constant mess seems to follow him and he honestly doesn't care who cleans it up as long as it's not him. "Make me." Was his favorite line when asked to do something. Little things throughout the day done simply to show me he didn't care, such as peeing on the floor- next to the toilet, and so, so much more that I will restrain from listing because I do have a point to make.

     Nicky was by far the worst behaved child at camp all summer, not to mention a spot in the top five most exhausting. Days went by slow. Toward the end of day two I had already begun to show signs of a short temper. I loved him, and was disappointed with the way he treated everyone around him. With the way he treated me. I had to learn the art of serventhood. 

     Often I think it is easy to view ourselves as being in the position I was in when it comes to serving. That Christ, without the behavior issues, is Nicky. A camper. That no matter how we feel we are called to love and to serve Him faithfully. That He comes first. All of this is true, but what God showed me while spending time with Nicky is that it is quite nearly the opposite. I am the child. The rebellious one. The one who does anything and everything to show Christ everything but gratitude and love. When I am ridiculed I apologize and do it all some more. While Jesus, who has done nothing but love me my entire life. Still chooses to put me first. When Nicky pees on the floor, looks me in the eye and says MAKE ME, and I have to choose to step back and continue to place him before me. To look him right back in the eye and say "I love you." It's so, so hard. It's absolutely tiresome. A constant grind of slowly putting up with action after action. But! How much more has Christ done for me? How much more am I indebted to Him? 

     As soon as Nicky left, a strange feeling came over me. One like I had honestly never experienced before so great. I had been so overly exhausted all week that when Nicky was in someone else's hands I was finally able to think. I realized that I loved it. As horribly miserable as it was there was joy. The sheer joy of serventhood. To be able to come home knowing as I always have that my mission every day is to serve Christ and those around me but now! Now to know how wonderful that is. Serventhood to be no longer a necessary task but instead an utterly satisfying action. 

     Tears are all that remained. Speaking at the microphone to tell everyone there of my horribly incredible week, I cried. Hard. I broke. I can honestly say that no other thing in life has broken me more to the bone than this child did, and as difficult as he was he loved me too. "I love you buddy." was spoken by him consistently throughout each day. Oh, how I cried. I couldn't even try to manage to speak through the tears. Nicky is a beautiful child. Christ used Him to show me a beautiful thing. To absolutely tear my heart in half. I cried later at camp and when I came home I cried even harder than before and when I woke up the next morning I started all over. I loved it. When I meet Nicky with our God, when he can finally understand it all, he may try to thank me but I truly plan on stopping him cold right there and thanking him even more, because he was used to teach me something more beautiful than words can describe. Until that day, I look forward to being Nicky's counselor and friend for a long, long time. How Great, Oh How Great is our God!

     

Love and Abandon

     I'm not entirely sure how to begin writing on this topic. It's not awkward, necessarily. It's not something that I am unfamiliar with, either. I'm very familiar, actually. I just don't know how else to start than by stating the typical, stupid little line:

     There's this girl.

     You've heard it before from other hormonally challenged, emotionally driven teenagers. Yes, I think about her all the time and she is absolutely beautiful with her big eyes and adorable smile that makes her dimples shine and her nose scrunch up and everything and how she laughs and even talks. Trust me, I'm not writing this as a way of venting to the internet my girl problems, although if that's the route you thought this was taking I certainly don't blame you. It's common.

     Recently I've been struggling (and by recently I mean more like two years or so). As stated, I think she's absolutely beautiful. I'm drawn to her, obviously. She stands out, she's different, and I feel pretty pathetic writing this (que the struggle). 

     I feel so out of place feeling like this. Like, there are so many people in my life that I thoroughly love. All of which I rightly should, too. At this point in my life I know that my love should aspire toward Christ, family, friends, enemies, and everyone in between. I feel as though it's not time to love someone, a certain girl in particular, in this way. It's confusing, and I think that the majority of teenagers react to this kind of confusion via relationships, AKA: "The Dumbest Thing One Can Accomplish in High School". 

     Fine, that may have been a bit strong. There are high school "couples" that have it figured out, and that's great. I know some. I love them and look up to how they strive to serve Jesus together. However, truth be told, I know literally three couples like this. I take that back after realizing that two of these couples are now in college. One. I know one couple out of everybody. If I'm being judgmental Lord help me but no one else, at least from what I can see from my point if view is dating in high school with the right intentions. Even if their intentions aren't even morally bad, they are not focused on Christ. 

     Excuse my rant, because that entire thing doesn't have much to do with my point....

     My point, I suppose, is that (personally) the last thing I want to do is pursue her - now. I love her. Not out of feeling or emotion, because if everything was based off of those two horrible things then this entire post is not worth your time reading or mine writing. I love her with purpose and affection, and I will show this love to her by abandoning myself, and waiting until God's perfect timing has arrived. I want her to grow in Christ. To become a tremendous woman of God. Someone who is absolutely on fire for Jesus, and I can already see all of this in her. I want her to be moved by Christ, loved by Christ, empowered every day by Christ. This is also why I pray for her. Everyday I pray for her. Because between me and Him, He is so much better in every way. I pray for myself. That Christ will continue to move and mold me as well, so that I can be the husband that I am intended to be by God. I pray that if this woman is not set aside for me, that I will still continue to grow in Him! I still pray for her, for her own life and future husband. For my future wife, whoever she is, that she will grow in Him more and more each and everyday. To live for His glory is so much sweeter than chasing stupid desires. 

     This week, pray for me! I need it so much. I need Him. As much as I think I need more than that, I don't. Christ and Christ alone is where I need to be, where I want to be. I will continue to live in Him, everyday.

     

     

     

     

     

To Be Blessed...

     My life is so busy. Granted, it's not nearly as chaotic as some people's lives, but still enough to keep me from consistently maintaining this blog. Although it seems fairly unimportant, I believe that this blog should be kept up with more frequently. Writing is a way for me to connect, seeing as how speaking has not proven to be my "forte". I understand writing. Better than I understand my hormonal teenage emotions. So between the two I prefer expressing my real thoughts through written words, so as not to become so distorted by confused feelings and what not.

     My recent life has happened extremely fast. This past January a few friends of mine decided to throw a surprise party for my sixteenth birthday. I was surprised, yes, but at the end of the day I was left with a main focus on how extremely blessed I am to have such a core group of like-minded, Christ-loving brothers and sisters at such a young age. Some time later after turning sixteen, I was given a job. Not long after I acquired my own car. Visiting a college campus sparked me into realizing that a degree is not too far down the road either. All these things, not to mention living in a good house with a strong family, a church family that truly loves and cares about growing ever more confident in Christ instead of simply "walking the walk", a consistent amount of food in the pantry, a secure amount of money, proper hospitals down the road in case of emergencies, and so much more. I along with a majority of people around me have been blessed beyond measure when it comes to earthly needs, and even not-so-necessaries, and still we continue to take every aspect for granted.

     Sad, yes, that this is the case but believe it or not the act of taking things for granted is only part of the problem. Looking at children living in Africa it is easy to see a huge marginal difference in how they live life as opposed to how Americans, or any other first-world country does. One of the first things that one notices is the fact that they have so little. As a society, we tend to see this and immediately believe that we are in a better situation. Would it be strange if I told you otherwise? 

     "For who makes you different than anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not? - 1 Corinthians 4:7, NIV

If you are blessed with "stuff"(essentially), why do you believe that you are in a better position than those who have little? Because when it comes down to it, Christ died for you just as much as for those who do not have much. Why? Because both people in different situations were just as lost and broken and distracted and ignorant as the next guy. We are all on an equal level of failure, and we are all on an equal level of grace. For what will become of those possessions anyway? Gone. Worthless. Yet, we still try to convince ourselves (and do a pretty darn good job at it most of the time) that we have more.

     I suppose what I'm trying to get at is that I have Jesus and Jesus alone. I don't have "Jesus and this other stuff". He is my everything, whether I want Him to be or not. Because there will be a day when everything I "own" will perish, and it will become all too clear that He was all I had all along.

     Problem being, I still have stuff. Is having a house, a car, a job, church, family, hospitals etc. a blessing. Yes! The question is how will we use them? The least if these have been given little physical needs for a complete purpose. Likewise, typical first-world Americans have been given much - for a purpose. How will we use our blessing? Will we leave it at "oh we're just blessed..." and move on with our iPhones and starbucks and youth group like nothing changes? How could we be so ignorant? How could I be so ignorant? 

     Point being, you have not been blessed, to be blessed. You have been blessed in order that you may be a blessing. This week, challenge yourself to step out of your normal routine and be a blessing to someone else. Make Jesus known. Also, to pray for those in hard situations. Because yes, physical necessities are not everything, but they do make life harder. Pray for strength, confidence, and hope. Pray that they, along with yourself, will continually keep your eyes focused on Jesus.

     "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning it's shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." 

- Hebrews 12:2, NIV

   

     

A Week of Camp

Seeing as how I have referenced this before, but never fully detailed to my readers the complete intenseness of my reference, one would suppose that the time has just about arrived to satisfy the whole of this title. Then again, because of my lack of description, I would guess that none of my readers would have a compelling desire to obtain the full knowledge of this reference after all. That being said, it is my privilege and honor to devote this post to an organization that has more than dramatically impacted my life.
This organization has done more than teach, it has empowered. Instead of the everyday student, the camps provided by this organization have created rare forms of Disciples. Christ's Disciples. Even more scarce- young Christian Disciples.
Before you turn the computer off entirely, frustrated that yet another innocent being has decided among himself to take the time, neigh, the audacity- to compile yet another praise for yet another "summer camp" he has recently attended (it isthat facebook-thwarting time of year again), something must first be made clear.
This camp has not impacted me through an ever so common emotional confrontation. A side-project that the utter majority of summer camps provide without cost. I might have another post entirely on this subject of interest (or perhaps of non-interest). It must be stated that I have attended this camp three years in a row now, and still every year grow more confidant in its mindset. Although I do not brag about being a sort of "veteran of attendance", I most certainly take pride in it. I take pride in being annually involved with this association because it has encouraged me in something I am to always take pride in: my distinct relationship with Jesus Christ. This is the reason I commit this post entry to Worldview Academy. Because of the challenge invested in me every year by a select group of people who want to know God's heart, and serve Him by serving me through love. Not because I had an "awesome week at camp" and not because of a self-invested-camp-long emotional experience. However, because of everything I have gained from participation in this camp, I most definitely have developed an emotional devotion to those acquainted with it.
During Worldview Academy, students will endure approximately twenty-six hours in total classroom lecture.

Don't you just want to sign up this very instant?

Do not fear. These lectures are not similar to the implication of the common word "lecture" you are probably associated with. These lectures often feel, look, smell and taste like the "lecture" that initially comes to mind, but by no means do they sound the same (yes, be relieved.) Instead, the topics discussed in these lectures are concentrated on bringing in and teaching out a more vast understanding of other worldviews, strategies in apologetics applied while defending your faith, and identifying the characteristics of a God-fearing leader. Why? Only so that the graduates of WVA re-enter everyday life knowing how to question other religions and worldviews, defend their own, and are challenged to lead others at their own home.
Aside from this, students face an opportunity to practice the techniques they have gained on - wait for it - real, live, talking people that inhabit the real, live, walking world. Campers also build relationships in a personal small group, and usually walk out the Worldview doors with professionally-equalized capabilities when it comes to throwing a frisbee.
Descriptive enough? Please know I can easily write a book about my experience at this camp. This week, I will be writing specifically about my personal revelations gained at my most recent attendance last month, but in order for you to fully grasp the meaning of this week's posts, some background was unavoidable. Thank you for the vast amount of viewers, a little over 500 recently. Perhaps I wasn't sure exactly what I was getting into by starting this blog. Please, pray for me.

All These Things

     It so happens that I have not the slightest clue concerning what to write about. Therefore, what you are about to read was constructed entirely on the spot and without meaningful aim. Hopefully, this does not cause you to close the page, but instead realize my amazing ability of constructing a post without first having anything to write about. You see, the trick is to use words with purpose, even when there is no purpose to be found among the words. As long as this sounds interesting, you should still be reading.
     Then again, it could be said that the purpose of these words is to communicate to you the fact that purpose is not necessary in order to obtain success. In this case, I am purposefully writing purposeful words without purpose all while non-purposefully communicating those words in a purposeful way after all.

     Oh how I love writing.

     This morning, you probably got out of bed however you usually do every other morning. That is, not until after having a long inward conversation with yourself. Possibly without even realizing your thoughts were functioning at all. In short, you wished to sleep. Unfortunately there is more to life then sleep, such as eating, moving, productivity and what not. So, against your initial will the bed was eventually deserted. (P. s.- those of you who have no trouble leaving bed in the morning are barely human and probably have cats to feed anyway so there is no need for further reading.)
     I am not aware of what the politically correct response to this question happens to be, mostly because the question is not typically of general interest among everyday conversations, but if someone were to ask me how on earth I get out of bed every morning, I would respond like so:

     Jesus. Jesus is how I do everything.

     Everyone knows the verse. Some have it memorized. In fact, when people ask for my favorite verse in the Bible this verse is the second-half of my answer.

     "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." -Philippians 4:13

     I love this verse. I hate how people use this verse. This verse is plastered on sports locker rooms. Quoted by celebrities. This verse is used out of context by pastors around the globe. This is the conclusion - the end product of what Paul is communicating. Allow me the honor of posting my all-time favorite verse for you:

     "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." -Philippians 4:11-13

     Many use this verse when they are in need. In sports, financial crisis - whenever they are in need of success. It's words are changed, unknowingly, to "I can do this thing through Christ who strengthens me." Paul specifically makes it clear amidst the first few words that this is not his reasoning. Instead, we can do ALL things through Christ. We can win in Christ, loose in Christ, face plenty in Christ, face hunger in Christ, face abundance, need, money, poverty, success, failure, and anything else! After the battle, when we have nothing to show, no chance of success, not a friend in the world- when we have LOST. We have lost in Christ!
     There is so much more to this verse alone, but I beg you to search for yourself. I'm no expert. I just love Jesus. So this week, I propose two challenges. First, to look past what is assumed by majority and find the truth being revealed in the Bible. Also, to know that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. When you are strengthened by Christ, you will find joy in Him. When you find joy in Christ, you can't help but be used by Him.